A small case for pleasure in a world obsessed with optimization.
Last weekend, I was at our annual lobster bake with friends (I live in Maine). It was a potluck situation, there was a gaggle of 40-ish women, and a friend brought only two—TWO—Diet Cokes. (You know who you are. You will live with that shame forever.) The entire group saw the Diet Cokes, wanted one, and then looked on longingly as the lucky recipient of the extra Diet Coke sipped away.
Naturally, the conversation turned to how much everyone wanted a Diet Coke and how long each person had gone since quitting Diet Coke. Then it turned to drinking alcohol, and how bad was that, really? Then, somehow, we moved on to the ideal age to die before everything turns to shit. The consensus seemed to be very early 80s, but I’d like the record to show that I do not have an opinion on this, mostly because I’m superstitious and putting an ideal age to die out into the universe feels like an invitation I am unwilling to send.
I am here today to say: drink the Diet Coke. Or, as a former Pepsi employee married to a former Pepsi employee: drink the Diet Pepsi. And the cocktail too, if you're into that. (I am).
In a widely shared New York Times article from 2024, someone much smarter than me put some numbers around that trade-off:
How much time does a certain amount of drinking shave off your life? For those who have two drinks a week, that choice amounts to less than one week of lost life on average, he said. Consume seven alcoholic beverages a week, and that amount goes up to about two and a half months... He emphasized that all those numbers were averages — and that it was impossible to predict the level of impact an individual person would experience.
Two and a half weeks?! Or even two and a half months?! I'll take it, in return for a lifetime of something that brings me more pleasure and connection.
Then, because the internet is always listening, I was served this graphic. I’m fairly sure it has no scientific basis whatsoever - “Witty Oliver” was my first clue - but I endorse it anyway.
Obvious disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not qualified to give health advice. I’m also not a scientist, but I do know that taking a calculation about alcohol and applying it to Diet Coke makes no sense. The point is perspective, not beverage math.
THEREFORE. Amidst the thunderous chorus of people on the internet telling you the millions of little ways you need to be optimizing your life, I’d like to give a little more airtime to something else: it’s okay. Have a Diet Coke. Have a glass of wine. Cut yourself some slack. You’re doing great out there, babe.
And if it feels incongruous to get this email from a brand selling a wellness product, I get it. But that is why we’re here. More balance, informed by science (and the occasional Witty Otter meme). More focus on the things proven to make a difference. Fewer arbitrary rules served up by an algorithm with an endless appetite for your anxiety and clicks.
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